Post by Mistica on Aug 8, 2015 21:18:39 GMT -5
So this is a little fanfiction that I've been working on for quite awhile and even though I have a good chunk of chapters completed, I did want to go ahead and start posting it both here and on the Haven. It's a Despicable Me fanfiction but it is more focused on the minions so just a little heads up in case anybody out there aren't fans. I don't have a very good summary with the exception that basically Gru and his minions meets a military scientist who created his own and basically the two sides form a truce to aid each other, that sort of thing. The fanfiction is rated Mature and this will become more evident later on.
Chapter 1
The Bank of Evil, it was an interesting place of business for any villain but despite this, it was the prime target for the evening. A small creature had found a way to break into the place and was going through some interesting documents relating to a former member of the bank. A man known as Felonious Gru, she couldn’t help but wonder about why this bank would still have some records on the man but no matter, the whereabouts was all she needed. Then suddenly she heard the sound of distant footsteps, probably a guard no less. Sure enough this bank had some form of security, a strong but calm man walking a large Doberman through the halls of the bank. You would think considering the owner of this place, no one would dare break in but then again, villains weren’t known for following any kind of honor system. The dog caught wind of a scent and started growling, his owner noticed the tension in his canine companion, “Somebody here boy?”
Following the dog, the security guard noticed that he went straight to the records room. Pulling out a gun, he waited a few seconds and then kicked open the door.
“FREEZE!” he yelled only to discover an empty room. Puzzled, he watched the reactions of the dog, who then stared up at the air duct on the ceiling. The guard got closer and wasn’t sure if he saw right but there was a bright blue eye staring at him. Then out of nowhere, a small metal ball fell through the air duct and suddenly dark smoke filled the room. The guard started coughing as a spell of drowsiness took over with only the barking of the dog being the last thing he heard. It wasn’t long before even the dog also fell to the ground due to the effects of the smoke. The small creature ran through the air duct and immediately found her way out. She then ran down a nearby alley where a dark blue pickup sat on the street on the other side. Without fail, she jumped into the open window panting, “I got it!”
“Excellent.” The man behind the wheel cheered. With that, the odd couple had made their escape, by the time the guard woke up it had been hours since the break in.
Inside the depths of Dr. Nefario’s lab were separate little rooms, to those unfamiliar these rooms were designed as sleeping quarters for Gru’s minions. While depending on the personality of the minion, the inside décor may differ but one thing remained the same, each room was designed to house up to two minions. One room in particular housed a tall minion and a short plump minion. Around eight o’clock sharp, a small alarm clock then went off, the loud beeping sound breaking the silence of the morning. The alarm was on the right side of the room next to one bed, from which a yellow arm lazily reached out to turn it off. The tall minion sat up and yawned, his name was Kevin while in the bed across from his was his close friend Jerry. The minions spoke very little English, primarily speaking in their own language which they had been using for centuries.
“Come on Jerry, it’s time to get to work.” Said Kevin.
The plump minion, staring at his friend, somehow found the energy to get himself out of bed.
“Alright.” He answered.
The two minions made their way over to the showers, thankfully they were one of the first ones because if you were too late to find an empty shower room, it would take forever before you’d snag an empty one at all. All minions more or less had the same morning routine, some habits may differ, but more or less were all the same. After showering, it was off to the dining hall where breakfast was served, today was Pancake Day which was definitely a favorite for most of the minions. Kevin and Jerry sat down next to Stuart and Dave, another couple of minion friends they were close to. Soon some of the other minions whom they knew came to join them, including the smallest minion Bob. When Dave and Carl saw that Bob had brought his little teddy, they started snickering but Kevin shot them a glance and they stopped.
“Bob, you can’t bring your bear to work, remember?” Stuart reminded him.
“I know, he’s just joining us for breakfast and then he’ll go back in my room, I promise.” He answered.
Then Bob heard some strange noises as he looked over to the minion sitting next to him, it was a tall minion known as Ken. Ken was considered quite the gamer but he had a different handheld than he normally had with him.
“Did your game machine break?” Bob asked.
Ken sighed, “First off, my PSVita is working just fine, second, Smash came out on the 3DS so I’m trying to see if I can unlock the whole roster.” Ken then noticed the odd look from Bob, this was something he was used to since out of all the minions, he was the most obsessed with video games.
“Do you even know what game series Smash is?”
“No.” Bob honestly answered.
Mike, Ken’s roommate and coworker, then sighed, “Oh please, not this again!”
Ken then started on a long explanation, one that the other minions chose to ignore, as he chose to explain Smash Bros. to Bob. Kevin just smiled, he liked video games too but not to that extent, Ken could be for lack of a better word, a nerd. Then Tim finally decided to join them, “You guys hear, apparently someone broke into the Bank of Evil, seems that Nefario heard about it from an old friend of his.”
The minions were shocked, nobody ever attempted breaking into that bank or at least were successful in doing so.
“What did they steal?” Kevin asked.
“Not much apparently but it’s still strange that somebody actually did.” Tim explained.
The minions then noticed the time, ten minutes before the first whistle would blow. “Come on, time to get to work.” Said Kevin.
“Yes General, I’m convinced that we can locate Mr. Gru, I’m positive that he’s the key to us finally understanding what makes them tick. Once I find a way to reproduce them much faster than it will make this project all more than worth it.”
“You better Henry, we’ve funded too much into this project for too long just to see lackluster results.”
“Understood sir.”
The phone call ended much better than he expected. The young man was known as Henry Thoroughson, well young by himself anyway. In reality, he was a military scientist with a very interesting project that so far was still a work in progress or has been for the past ten years. His goal, to create little fighting machines that the military could utilize so as to cut down on casualties and deaths on the battle field. Of course these little fighting machines were based on one creature that Henry always found to be interesting, those creatures were minions. Even in his early college years, he had heard of the mysterious beings known as minions. Some claimed that they were just fiction, but some claimed that they were real. Rumor has it that minions were a species that served a master who was considered quite despicable and would continue to serve until either the master expired or they did, whichever came first. The last that he had heard, a man known as Felonious Gru was in charge of the minions now but to find Gru was a little difficult. Since Gru had changed his villainous ways, it seemed all information of his past exploits left no clues as to where he was now. In fact, the little bit of info that his pet project recovered from the Bank of Evil was better than nothing. It seemed that the only reason why the head of this bank kept this info was because he had a grudge against Gru for some reason.
“So, what did Mr. General say?” said a female voice.
“The same thing he always says, he wants results and soon, you know that by now Misery.”
Henry looked down at his main work, the female minion and so far his first one created, Project Misery. The minion was a lighter yellow than what was considered normal, wearing a black jumpsuit and boots. Her gloves had little metallic claws attached to the material and her hair was a soft brown, her single eye was a shade of blue. Misery, as she seemed to call herself, earned her name due to Henry always going on about the misery his work was causing him so of course she adopted it as her name. At first it was kind of humorous but then it made Henry realize just how perceptive his project was. She would be considered the perfect specimen if it wasn’t for one little factor, “Just remembered, it’s that time again.”
Misery sighed, she hated this but it had to be done, “Fine, fine.”
She sat in a chair while Henry injected into her arm a vial of pure potassium, this was her main flaw. After Henry created her, he discovered that for whatever reason her body wouldn’t reproduce potassium on its own which would lead to her going into a seizure and even possibly die. Of course he tried to get her to eat the one food that had the highest amount of potassium in it but there was one problem. Due to her not liking how bananas could get squishy, she refused to eat them so instead, vials of potassium had to be used to keep her system going. Of course, Misery wasn’t the only minion he was successful in creating, he bred from her at least two others.
“MOM”, screamed another female voice, “Kiba is hurting another mouse again!”
“She’s lying”, this time a male voice yelled, “Trigger’s eating him so technically I’m not hurting the damn thing!”
After pulling her sleeve down, Misery walked over to the hallway to see her son and daughter bickering again. “Aye Dios Mio, what is it now?!” she demanded.
A female minion, dressed in a t-shirt and pants, explained, “Mom, he trapped another mouse and that stupid fish is mutilating it!”
The male minion, who was mostly dressed in leather and black, yelled back, “My ‘stupid fish’ is a piranha, he needs to fucking eat! You eat meat don’t you, what’s the freaking difference?”
“I don’t torture my food before I eat it!” she responded.
“Nica, Kiba, silencio!”
Then she turned to a guy in his twenties sitting on the couch, “Jacob please do something, your children are arguing again!”
Jacob, who was Henry’s younger and good for nothing brother, then remarked, “For the last time, they ain’t my kids so it’s not my problem and once again, I’m not your boyfriend either so why do you want me to fix it!”
“Master Henry, help me please!” Misery pleaded.
Henry could feel another migraine coming on because when it came down to it, this was his life. Ten years of research and all he could show for it was a minion who was head over heels in love with his bum of a brother and a pair of siblings who were as opposite from each other as they could get. Nearly every dispute that happened in this house made any world war look like a peace gathering. In fact, he was pretty lucky that he was housed pretty far away from any neighbors because the yelling would definitely mean getting a visit from the cops. Of course with Kiba’s reckless behavior, it wasn’t like they weren’t already used to that. Yep, the perfect life…if only they were that lucky.
Chapter 2
The work day passed by rather quickly for the minions, Stuart had already punched out but then he heard none other than Lucy call for him. “Stuart, think you can do me a quick favor?” she asked.
The one eyed minion nodded, he didn’t mind doing errands for Lucy whenever she asked. “Could you get me a bag of sugar, it doesn’t have to be a big bag, just a small one so that way I could finish up desert for tonight. Just let me get my purse so I can give you some money.”
“No, no, got it.” Stuart told her.
“Oh wonderful, thank you so much Stuart!”
The minion headed down to the car garage to grab one of the minion cars, while normally these vehicles stayed within the labs, there was no way he would make it to the store without one. As the vehicle drove out of a secret opening from the driveway, he headed down the road. The trip to the store was going to be a long one but eventually, he had parked in the strange spot with the blue square on the ground. He had to remember that he was here for one thing, nothing else as he headed towards the front entrance.
As the hours passed by, Stuart unfortunately had gotten a little distracted within the store and by the time he had gotten out, it was after dark. “Darn, Lucy’s not going to be happy about this!” he mumbled.
When he finally got home, Stuart just parked the little car near the curb and rushed inside the house. Lucy was actually cooking with the girls helping her, a large smile formed on her face when she saw Stuart run up.
“There you are, I was worried maybe you had to head to another store, thanks again Stuart.”
“Welcome.” He answered but then he remembered, the car.
He headed back outside, this time using one of the secret travel tubes but then noticed that a strange minion in black was messing with the car. He wondered if maybe somebody was trying to pull a prank on him, probably Carl knowing that minion.
“Carl, seriously, the boss is gonna be pissed if you mess with the cars for a prank again.” He called out.
When Stuart tried to grab the minion by the shoulder, he was caught by total surprise when the minion actually kicked him down to the ground. The minion turned around to face him, Stuart looked up to see that this one wasn’t a minion he recognized.
“Whoa…who are you?” he asked.
The minion stared at him a little strange, “Excuse me?”
Stuart slowly stood up, trying to make it clear that he wasn’t going to hurt this minion. He wasn’t sure if he was seeing things right but this minion looked like a…well, a female. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I mean you no harm, just who are you?” he asked her.
“I’m sorry but I really can’t understand you.” The minion answered him.
It then dawned on Stuart that whoever this was, she couldn’t speak minion. “Bello, I’m Stuart, you are?” he asked, this time in English. The minion paused for a second before answering, “My name is Misery, can you tell me who lives in this house?”
“Si, my boss, Gru.” He answered her. He honestly was curious, maybe it still could be a disguise so he slowly reached a hand and pulled on her hair.
“Oww”, she yelled as she pushed him down, “What is wrong with you?!”
“Sorry, sorry!” he apologized.
“It’s attached you know, what do you think I’m wearing, a wig?!”
“Yes.” Stuart answered her.
“Misery…there you are!” a human called. Stuart looked up to see a tall man walk up to them, “I’m so sorry, I hope she’s not bothering you, come now Misery, it’s late, we need to get home now!”
“Of course Master Henry”, then turning to Stuart, “Sorry, have to get home now, nice meeting you.”
He watched as the minion followed the man to across the street and climbed into a blue pickup. He continued to watch even as the truck took off, with only one thought on his mind. “That was a female minion…a female minion? How is that even possible? I’ve gotta tell the others!”
“That was too close.” Henry remarked.
“I know, but what was with his gibberish? You said that these creatures are supposed to be smart, that little jelly bean honestly thought that I was wearing a wig!” she yelled.
“Misery, calm down! Don’t forget that these are primarily an all male species, it’s kind of understandable when it comes to his reaction to..well, seeing you. Think about if you were in his position, honestly don’t tell me you wouldn’t react the same way.”
“Fine, fair enough.” She remarked.
“His gibberish as you called it is probably the language they speak, according to the legends, they have their own language that’s been developed over centuries.”
“A language that apparently they can speak some slight Spanish in it?”
“Despite this, the point is that now we know that Mr. Gru still resides here which leads to the next step of the plan.”
Stuart rushed into the break room, the minions were having dinner but nearly every one of them stared in confusion when they heard him screaming something about a female. “There’s a female minion, guys, I just saw her, a real life female minion!”
He arrived to his favorite table with nearly all of his friends staring at him, Kevin decided to be the first to speak, “What did you say?”
“I just saw a female minion!” Stuart repeated. The minions all started to either laugh or shake their heads in disapproval. “I’m not making this up, she was outside the house and she was a one eyed minion just like me, she had brown hair, a blue eye, and she had a master, he was a tall guy and he said her name was….her name was Misery or something like that!”
“Stuart, depends, have you been sneaking into the ice cream pops that the boss keeps in the fridge again?”
“No! Kevin, I swear to you this isn’t a joke! I know what I saw!” A chubby minion by the name Jorge then asked, “If your female minion is real then introduce us to her then!”
“Well, here’s the thing, her master already took her home so I kind of can’t do that.”
“You’re making this up!” Another minion yelled. Stuart realized just how this sounded, clearly it sounded more like he was crazy. “I’ll prove it, I’m not sure how but I’ll find her and show you guys she’s real, I’ll start searching tomorrow and you guys will see I’m right!” and with that, the minion left the break room in a huff.
The next few days was nothing but Stuart trying to search for the mystery she-minion with no luck. He tried searching around the neighborhood, online, and even to popular locations that he considered to be girl type of hangouts. Along with that, hearing the constant teasing from his fellow minions was just adding to the frustration. Soon it was Friday, it was Stuart’s turn to help with cleaning duty in the house so it would give him time to be to himself. While he continued to dust, there was a loud knocking at the door. The one eyed minion went to answer the door only to be face to face with her.
“It’s you!” he squealed. Stuart then noticed that her master was with her, Henry decided to speak on their behalf, “Hello there, we just wanted to apologize for earlier this week, we were looking for the address of a Mr. Gru but I guess we got the wrong house.”
Stuart immediately cheered, “This is Gru house, Gru is Stuart’s boss!”
“Oh really”, turning to Misery, “Well would you look at that, we did get the right house, is there any chance we could meet him?” Stuart didn’t hesitate, he nodded quickly and grabbed Misery by the hand to pull her inside, slamming the door in his excitement. She immediately pulled away, “Excuse me, my master is still outside!”
“Oh, sorry.” Stuart remarked.
He slowly opened the door, apologizing to Henry as he allowed the human to come inside. Once again, he grabbed Misery’s hand and tugged her towards the couch, “Stay here, be back with boss!”
Stuart rushed to Gru’s office, bursting through the door with no time to waste. “Stuart, is something wrong?”
“No, no, the female minion is here and her master is here and they want to see you, need to find Kevin and them!” Stuart immediately rushed out to find his friends, this was his one chance to prove that the she-minion was real. The minion rushed out of the office to conveniently crash into Kevin with Dave and Jerry staring in shock.
“Kevin, you guys, she’s here!”
The minion immediately dragged Kevin by his arm with Jerry and Dave following right behind. He had burst into the living room to see that sure enough, Misery was still there while Henry and Gru were talking. “See, I told you, she’s real, she really is!”
He ran over to Misery, pointing to her like he was showing off a prize. Misery, on the other hand, was a little annoyed but then looked over at the other three to see that they looked completely different in appearance compared to Stuart. She had assumed that all minions looked like Stuart but to see that they did come in different varieties was actually kind of fascinating. Remember what you’re here for, she reminded herself. Dave approached her, trying to be charming, “Well hello there, you cutie. The name’s Dave by the way but you can call me whatever you like.”
Kevin rolled his eyes while Jerry started giggling but then they noticed the awkward staring she was giving them. Stuart explained, “You guys, she doesn’t understand us, I don’t think she can speak minion.” Kevin couldn’t help but find that strange, “You don’t speak minion?”
To Misery, all she was hearing was just plain gibberish, it was clear that they could understand English so why didn’t they speak it?
“Listen…my name is Misery…what are your names?” she asked slowly. Kevin glared at her, she didn’t need to do that, they weren’t stupid, “Can understand you fine!”
She shot him a look, “Well excuse me, no need to give me attitude!” Stuart wasn’t sure what to do, he was just trying to prove he was right, not have a fight break out.
“It’s fine, Missy not know, it’s fine.” he remarked.
“Misery, my name is Misery!” she corrected.
“Sorry, sorry.” Stuart apologized.
Meanwhile, Gru was having what seemed to be the most fascinating conversation with Henry who claimed he was a fan of the former villain’s work. While Gru no longer did that line of work, he couldn’t resist the chance to meet a fan. According to the young man, he was so intrigued by Gru’s leadership of the minions that he claimed that’s what led to Misery’s creation. Of course, anyone who knew Henry could tell you that Gru’s villain work had nothing to do with his military project at all.
“Honestly, it amazes me that you found a way to create more of these creatures, how do you do it, Mr. Gru?” he asked.
“I wish I could say that creating more was my handiwork but the truth is I have a very good friend of mine who is truly the one who has a process of creating more actually.”
“Really, any chance I could meet him?”
“Certainly."
“Great, let me call Misery over to us and-.”
“Oh, that’s quite alright, if she’s anything like my minions, she’ll probably get bored, “Gru explained, “The guys can just show her around the break room while we chat.”
Henry wasn’t sure if that was even a good idea, he needed to have her with him so that, if necessary, she could break in later to steal any data needed. “I’m sure she’ll be fine with us…but if you insist…uh, Misery, Mr. Gru is going to be introducing me to his friend, why don’t you hang out with his little minions until I get back.”
She stared at him with a ‘are you kidding’ face but then realized that clearly it wasn’t his idea for her to stay put. “That’s fine, Master Henry, just don’t be too long.”
“Stuart, show Misery around the break room until we get back.” Gru commanded.
The one eyed minion gave a salute as they watched the two humans head over to a chair. This chair activated an elevator and within a few minutes, they were gone. Misery looked over to these four minions…this wasn’t going to be a fun experience at all.
Chapter 1
The Bank of Evil, it was an interesting place of business for any villain but despite this, it was the prime target for the evening. A small creature had found a way to break into the place and was going through some interesting documents relating to a former member of the bank. A man known as Felonious Gru, she couldn’t help but wonder about why this bank would still have some records on the man but no matter, the whereabouts was all she needed. Then suddenly she heard the sound of distant footsteps, probably a guard no less. Sure enough this bank had some form of security, a strong but calm man walking a large Doberman through the halls of the bank. You would think considering the owner of this place, no one would dare break in but then again, villains weren’t known for following any kind of honor system. The dog caught wind of a scent and started growling, his owner noticed the tension in his canine companion, “Somebody here boy?”
Following the dog, the security guard noticed that he went straight to the records room. Pulling out a gun, he waited a few seconds and then kicked open the door.
“FREEZE!” he yelled only to discover an empty room. Puzzled, he watched the reactions of the dog, who then stared up at the air duct on the ceiling. The guard got closer and wasn’t sure if he saw right but there was a bright blue eye staring at him. Then out of nowhere, a small metal ball fell through the air duct and suddenly dark smoke filled the room. The guard started coughing as a spell of drowsiness took over with only the barking of the dog being the last thing he heard. It wasn’t long before even the dog also fell to the ground due to the effects of the smoke. The small creature ran through the air duct and immediately found her way out. She then ran down a nearby alley where a dark blue pickup sat on the street on the other side. Without fail, she jumped into the open window panting, “I got it!”
“Excellent.” The man behind the wheel cheered. With that, the odd couple had made their escape, by the time the guard woke up it had been hours since the break in.
***
Inside the depths of Dr. Nefario’s lab were separate little rooms, to those unfamiliar these rooms were designed as sleeping quarters for Gru’s minions. While depending on the personality of the minion, the inside décor may differ but one thing remained the same, each room was designed to house up to two minions. One room in particular housed a tall minion and a short plump minion. Around eight o’clock sharp, a small alarm clock then went off, the loud beeping sound breaking the silence of the morning. The alarm was on the right side of the room next to one bed, from which a yellow arm lazily reached out to turn it off. The tall minion sat up and yawned, his name was Kevin while in the bed across from his was his close friend Jerry. The minions spoke very little English, primarily speaking in their own language which they had been using for centuries.
“Come on Jerry, it’s time to get to work.” Said Kevin.
The plump minion, staring at his friend, somehow found the energy to get himself out of bed.
“Alright.” He answered.
The two minions made their way over to the showers, thankfully they were one of the first ones because if you were too late to find an empty shower room, it would take forever before you’d snag an empty one at all. All minions more or less had the same morning routine, some habits may differ, but more or less were all the same. After showering, it was off to the dining hall where breakfast was served, today was Pancake Day which was definitely a favorite for most of the minions. Kevin and Jerry sat down next to Stuart and Dave, another couple of minion friends they were close to. Soon some of the other minions whom they knew came to join them, including the smallest minion Bob. When Dave and Carl saw that Bob had brought his little teddy, they started snickering but Kevin shot them a glance and they stopped.
“Bob, you can’t bring your bear to work, remember?” Stuart reminded him.
“I know, he’s just joining us for breakfast and then he’ll go back in my room, I promise.” He answered.
Then Bob heard some strange noises as he looked over to the minion sitting next to him, it was a tall minion known as Ken. Ken was considered quite the gamer but he had a different handheld than he normally had with him.
“Did your game machine break?” Bob asked.
Ken sighed, “First off, my PSVita is working just fine, second, Smash came out on the 3DS so I’m trying to see if I can unlock the whole roster.” Ken then noticed the odd look from Bob, this was something he was used to since out of all the minions, he was the most obsessed with video games.
“Do you even know what game series Smash is?”
“No.” Bob honestly answered.
Mike, Ken’s roommate and coworker, then sighed, “Oh please, not this again!”
Ken then started on a long explanation, one that the other minions chose to ignore, as he chose to explain Smash Bros. to Bob. Kevin just smiled, he liked video games too but not to that extent, Ken could be for lack of a better word, a nerd. Then Tim finally decided to join them, “You guys hear, apparently someone broke into the Bank of Evil, seems that Nefario heard about it from an old friend of his.”
The minions were shocked, nobody ever attempted breaking into that bank or at least were successful in doing so.
“What did they steal?” Kevin asked.
“Not much apparently but it’s still strange that somebody actually did.” Tim explained.
The minions then noticed the time, ten minutes before the first whistle would blow. “Come on, time to get to work.” Said Kevin.
***
“Yes General, I’m convinced that we can locate Mr. Gru, I’m positive that he’s the key to us finally understanding what makes them tick. Once I find a way to reproduce them much faster than it will make this project all more than worth it.”
“You better Henry, we’ve funded too much into this project for too long just to see lackluster results.”
“Understood sir.”
The phone call ended much better than he expected. The young man was known as Henry Thoroughson, well young by himself anyway. In reality, he was a military scientist with a very interesting project that so far was still a work in progress or has been for the past ten years. His goal, to create little fighting machines that the military could utilize so as to cut down on casualties and deaths on the battle field. Of course these little fighting machines were based on one creature that Henry always found to be interesting, those creatures were minions. Even in his early college years, he had heard of the mysterious beings known as minions. Some claimed that they were just fiction, but some claimed that they were real. Rumor has it that minions were a species that served a master who was considered quite despicable and would continue to serve until either the master expired or they did, whichever came first. The last that he had heard, a man known as Felonious Gru was in charge of the minions now but to find Gru was a little difficult. Since Gru had changed his villainous ways, it seemed all information of his past exploits left no clues as to where he was now. In fact, the little bit of info that his pet project recovered from the Bank of Evil was better than nothing. It seemed that the only reason why the head of this bank kept this info was because he had a grudge against Gru for some reason.
“So, what did Mr. General say?” said a female voice.
“The same thing he always says, he wants results and soon, you know that by now Misery.”
Henry looked down at his main work, the female minion and so far his first one created, Project Misery. The minion was a lighter yellow than what was considered normal, wearing a black jumpsuit and boots. Her gloves had little metallic claws attached to the material and her hair was a soft brown, her single eye was a shade of blue. Misery, as she seemed to call herself, earned her name due to Henry always going on about the misery his work was causing him so of course she adopted it as her name. At first it was kind of humorous but then it made Henry realize just how perceptive his project was. She would be considered the perfect specimen if it wasn’t for one little factor, “Just remembered, it’s that time again.”
Misery sighed, she hated this but it had to be done, “Fine, fine.”
She sat in a chair while Henry injected into her arm a vial of pure potassium, this was her main flaw. After Henry created her, he discovered that for whatever reason her body wouldn’t reproduce potassium on its own which would lead to her going into a seizure and even possibly die. Of course he tried to get her to eat the one food that had the highest amount of potassium in it but there was one problem. Due to her not liking how bananas could get squishy, she refused to eat them so instead, vials of potassium had to be used to keep her system going. Of course, Misery wasn’t the only minion he was successful in creating, he bred from her at least two others.
“MOM”, screamed another female voice, “Kiba is hurting another mouse again!”
“She’s lying”, this time a male voice yelled, “Trigger’s eating him so technically I’m not hurting the damn thing!”
After pulling her sleeve down, Misery walked over to the hallway to see her son and daughter bickering again. “Aye Dios Mio, what is it now?!” she demanded.
A female minion, dressed in a t-shirt and pants, explained, “Mom, he trapped another mouse and that stupid fish is mutilating it!”
The male minion, who was mostly dressed in leather and black, yelled back, “My ‘stupid fish’ is a piranha, he needs to fucking eat! You eat meat don’t you, what’s the freaking difference?”
“I don’t torture my food before I eat it!” she responded.
“Nica, Kiba, silencio!”
Then she turned to a guy in his twenties sitting on the couch, “Jacob please do something, your children are arguing again!”
Jacob, who was Henry’s younger and good for nothing brother, then remarked, “For the last time, they ain’t my kids so it’s not my problem and once again, I’m not your boyfriend either so why do you want me to fix it!”
“Master Henry, help me please!” Misery pleaded.
Henry could feel another migraine coming on because when it came down to it, this was his life. Ten years of research and all he could show for it was a minion who was head over heels in love with his bum of a brother and a pair of siblings who were as opposite from each other as they could get. Nearly every dispute that happened in this house made any world war look like a peace gathering. In fact, he was pretty lucky that he was housed pretty far away from any neighbors because the yelling would definitely mean getting a visit from the cops. Of course with Kiba’s reckless behavior, it wasn’t like they weren’t already used to that. Yep, the perfect life…if only they were that lucky.
Chapter 2
The work day passed by rather quickly for the minions, Stuart had already punched out but then he heard none other than Lucy call for him. “Stuart, think you can do me a quick favor?” she asked.
The one eyed minion nodded, he didn’t mind doing errands for Lucy whenever she asked. “Could you get me a bag of sugar, it doesn’t have to be a big bag, just a small one so that way I could finish up desert for tonight. Just let me get my purse so I can give you some money.”
“No, no, got it.” Stuart told her.
“Oh wonderful, thank you so much Stuart!”
The minion headed down to the car garage to grab one of the minion cars, while normally these vehicles stayed within the labs, there was no way he would make it to the store without one. As the vehicle drove out of a secret opening from the driveway, he headed down the road. The trip to the store was going to be a long one but eventually, he had parked in the strange spot with the blue square on the ground. He had to remember that he was here for one thing, nothing else as he headed towards the front entrance.
***
As the hours passed by, Stuart unfortunately had gotten a little distracted within the store and by the time he had gotten out, it was after dark. “Darn, Lucy’s not going to be happy about this!” he mumbled.
When he finally got home, Stuart just parked the little car near the curb and rushed inside the house. Lucy was actually cooking with the girls helping her, a large smile formed on her face when she saw Stuart run up.
“There you are, I was worried maybe you had to head to another store, thanks again Stuart.”
“Welcome.” He answered but then he remembered, the car.
He headed back outside, this time using one of the secret travel tubes but then noticed that a strange minion in black was messing with the car. He wondered if maybe somebody was trying to pull a prank on him, probably Carl knowing that minion.
“Carl, seriously, the boss is gonna be pissed if you mess with the cars for a prank again.” He called out.
When Stuart tried to grab the minion by the shoulder, he was caught by total surprise when the minion actually kicked him down to the ground. The minion turned around to face him, Stuart looked up to see that this one wasn’t a minion he recognized.
“Whoa…who are you?” he asked.
The minion stared at him a little strange, “Excuse me?”
Stuart slowly stood up, trying to make it clear that he wasn’t going to hurt this minion. He wasn’t sure if he was seeing things right but this minion looked like a…well, a female. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I mean you no harm, just who are you?” he asked her.
“I’m sorry but I really can’t understand you.” The minion answered him.
It then dawned on Stuart that whoever this was, she couldn’t speak minion. “Bello, I’m Stuart, you are?” he asked, this time in English. The minion paused for a second before answering, “My name is Misery, can you tell me who lives in this house?”
“Si, my boss, Gru.” He answered her. He honestly was curious, maybe it still could be a disguise so he slowly reached a hand and pulled on her hair.
“Oww”, she yelled as she pushed him down, “What is wrong with you?!”
“Sorry, sorry!” he apologized.
“It’s attached you know, what do you think I’m wearing, a wig?!”
“Yes.” Stuart answered her.
“Misery…there you are!” a human called. Stuart looked up to see a tall man walk up to them, “I’m so sorry, I hope she’s not bothering you, come now Misery, it’s late, we need to get home now!”
“Of course Master Henry”, then turning to Stuart, “Sorry, have to get home now, nice meeting you.”
He watched as the minion followed the man to across the street and climbed into a blue pickup. He continued to watch even as the truck took off, with only one thought on his mind. “That was a female minion…a female minion? How is that even possible? I’ve gotta tell the others!”
***
“That was too close.” Henry remarked.
“I know, but what was with his gibberish? You said that these creatures are supposed to be smart, that little jelly bean honestly thought that I was wearing a wig!” she yelled.
“Misery, calm down! Don’t forget that these are primarily an all male species, it’s kind of understandable when it comes to his reaction to..well, seeing you. Think about if you were in his position, honestly don’t tell me you wouldn’t react the same way.”
“Fine, fair enough.” She remarked.
“His gibberish as you called it is probably the language they speak, according to the legends, they have their own language that’s been developed over centuries.”
“A language that apparently they can speak some slight Spanish in it?”
“Despite this, the point is that now we know that Mr. Gru still resides here which leads to the next step of the plan.”
***
Stuart rushed into the break room, the minions were having dinner but nearly every one of them stared in confusion when they heard him screaming something about a female. “There’s a female minion, guys, I just saw her, a real life female minion!”
He arrived to his favorite table with nearly all of his friends staring at him, Kevin decided to be the first to speak, “What did you say?”
“I just saw a female minion!” Stuart repeated. The minions all started to either laugh or shake their heads in disapproval. “I’m not making this up, she was outside the house and she was a one eyed minion just like me, she had brown hair, a blue eye, and she had a master, he was a tall guy and he said her name was….her name was Misery or something like that!”
“Stuart, depends, have you been sneaking into the ice cream pops that the boss keeps in the fridge again?”
“No! Kevin, I swear to you this isn’t a joke! I know what I saw!” A chubby minion by the name Jorge then asked, “If your female minion is real then introduce us to her then!”
“Well, here’s the thing, her master already took her home so I kind of can’t do that.”
“You’re making this up!” Another minion yelled. Stuart realized just how this sounded, clearly it sounded more like he was crazy. “I’ll prove it, I’m not sure how but I’ll find her and show you guys she’s real, I’ll start searching tomorrow and you guys will see I’m right!” and with that, the minion left the break room in a huff.
***
The next few days was nothing but Stuart trying to search for the mystery she-minion with no luck. He tried searching around the neighborhood, online, and even to popular locations that he considered to be girl type of hangouts. Along with that, hearing the constant teasing from his fellow minions was just adding to the frustration. Soon it was Friday, it was Stuart’s turn to help with cleaning duty in the house so it would give him time to be to himself. While he continued to dust, there was a loud knocking at the door. The one eyed minion went to answer the door only to be face to face with her.
“It’s you!” he squealed. Stuart then noticed that her master was with her, Henry decided to speak on their behalf, “Hello there, we just wanted to apologize for earlier this week, we were looking for the address of a Mr. Gru but I guess we got the wrong house.”
Stuart immediately cheered, “This is Gru house, Gru is Stuart’s boss!”
“Oh really”, turning to Misery, “Well would you look at that, we did get the right house, is there any chance we could meet him?” Stuart didn’t hesitate, he nodded quickly and grabbed Misery by the hand to pull her inside, slamming the door in his excitement. She immediately pulled away, “Excuse me, my master is still outside!”
“Oh, sorry.” Stuart remarked.
He slowly opened the door, apologizing to Henry as he allowed the human to come inside. Once again, he grabbed Misery’s hand and tugged her towards the couch, “Stay here, be back with boss!”
Stuart rushed to Gru’s office, bursting through the door with no time to waste. “Stuart, is something wrong?”
“No, no, the female minion is here and her master is here and they want to see you, need to find Kevin and them!” Stuart immediately rushed out to find his friends, this was his one chance to prove that the she-minion was real. The minion rushed out of the office to conveniently crash into Kevin with Dave and Jerry staring in shock.
“Kevin, you guys, she’s here!”
The minion immediately dragged Kevin by his arm with Jerry and Dave following right behind. He had burst into the living room to see that sure enough, Misery was still there while Henry and Gru were talking. “See, I told you, she’s real, she really is!”
He ran over to Misery, pointing to her like he was showing off a prize. Misery, on the other hand, was a little annoyed but then looked over at the other three to see that they looked completely different in appearance compared to Stuart. She had assumed that all minions looked like Stuart but to see that they did come in different varieties was actually kind of fascinating. Remember what you’re here for, she reminded herself. Dave approached her, trying to be charming, “Well hello there, you cutie. The name’s Dave by the way but you can call me whatever you like.”
Kevin rolled his eyes while Jerry started giggling but then they noticed the awkward staring she was giving them. Stuart explained, “You guys, she doesn’t understand us, I don’t think she can speak minion.” Kevin couldn’t help but find that strange, “You don’t speak minion?”
To Misery, all she was hearing was just plain gibberish, it was clear that they could understand English so why didn’t they speak it?
“Listen…my name is Misery…what are your names?” she asked slowly. Kevin glared at her, she didn’t need to do that, they weren’t stupid, “Can understand you fine!”
She shot him a look, “Well excuse me, no need to give me attitude!” Stuart wasn’t sure what to do, he was just trying to prove he was right, not have a fight break out.
“It’s fine, Missy not know, it’s fine.” he remarked.
“Misery, my name is Misery!” she corrected.
“Sorry, sorry.” Stuart apologized.
Meanwhile, Gru was having what seemed to be the most fascinating conversation with Henry who claimed he was a fan of the former villain’s work. While Gru no longer did that line of work, he couldn’t resist the chance to meet a fan. According to the young man, he was so intrigued by Gru’s leadership of the minions that he claimed that’s what led to Misery’s creation. Of course, anyone who knew Henry could tell you that Gru’s villain work had nothing to do with his military project at all.
“Honestly, it amazes me that you found a way to create more of these creatures, how do you do it, Mr. Gru?” he asked.
“I wish I could say that creating more was my handiwork but the truth is I have a very good friend of mine who is truly the one who has a process of creating more actually.”
“Really, any chance I could meet him?”
“Certainly."
“Great, let me call Misery over to us and-.”
“Oh, that’s quite alright, if she’s anything like my minions, she’ll probably get bored, “Gru explained, “The guys can just show her around the break room while we chat.”
Henry wasn’t sure if that was even a good idea, he needed to have her with him so that, if necessary, she could break in later to steal any data needed. “I’m sure she’ll be fine with us…but if you insist…uh, Misery, Mr. Gru is going to be introducing me to his friend, why don’t you hang out with his little minions until I get back.”
She stared at him with a ‘are you kidding’ face but then realized that clearly it wasn’t his idea for her to stay put. “That’s fine, Master Henry, just don’t be too long.”
“Stuart, show Misery around the break room until we get back.” Gru commanded.
The one eyed minion gave a salute as they watched the two humans head over to a chair. This chair activated an elevator and within a few minutes, they were gone. Misery looked over to these four minions…this wasn’t going to be a fun experience at all.